Social Development for Toddlers! 小朋友的社交能力發展!

Despite toddlers being these carefree individuals who appear happy enough to speak to anyone, they are still human after all. It is therefore no surprise that toddlers sometimes let their own fears get in the way of their social interactions, and this can sometimes invoke negative attitudes or associations with social situations down the line. Famous social child psychologist Albert Bandura believed in the importance of a child being able to adapt to given situations in the most appropriate manner, to quote; “the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations.”

儘管小朋友始終自由自在,看起來快來無憂,但畢竟他們也是正常的人,所以難免他們在社交中感到恐慌或不知所措,這會給他們帶來諸多負面影響,甚至影響他們對社交的態度。著名的社會兒童心理學家Albert Bandura認為,小朋友能在適當的場合做出相應的行為。

There are 3 steps involved in helping your child develop social intelligence. The first of which is helping them learn how to manage their emotions. The second? Helping them develop empathy for others, and last but certainly not least, showing them how to express their needs and feelings without attacking. So, where do you start?

如果你想幫助小朋友提升社交能力,有以下3個步驟來幫你!第一,是幫助他們控制情緒,第二,則是讓小朋友有同情心,最後,記得要幫他們傳達正確的需求和感受,而不是有攻擊性的對待他們。所以,你應該從哪一步開始?

 

1) Empathise!

Kids who receive a lot of empathy for their own feelings from adults are the earliest ones to develop empathy for others. Don’t be afraid to let your child know you understand how they feel, and that you can relate to them. Research shows that empathy for others is the cornerstone of successful interpersonal relationships!

1) 同情

大家最早給予孩子同情與理解,這也讓他們自身可以去同情別人。讓你的孩子知道,你可以理解他們的感受,並可以和他們心意相通。研究表明,學會同情他人,將成為未來人際成功的基礎。

Toddler Social Development Empathise

 

2) Stay Close During Playgroups

Many kids end up hitting during social interactions because they get so excited and don’t know what else to do. However if you stay close, you will be there to correct this sort of behaviour and show them how they can deal with the situation in a more appropriate manner.

2)在團隊活動中保持關注

其實很多時候,小朋友在社交當中,只顧玩樂,可能會忽視其他事情。而家長應該保持關注,糾正小朋友的行為,並告訴他們,應該在社交中如何處理各種問題。

Social Development Toddler Playgroup

 

3) Don’t Force Them To Share!

Believe it or not, forcing them to do so actually delays the development of sharing skills. Kids need to feel secure in their ownership before they can share. Instead, what you can do is introduce the concept of taking turns; “It’s Michael’s turn to use the toy car, then it will be your turn. I’ll help you wait”.

3)不要強迫小朋友分享!

信不信由你,強迫小朋友分享會讓他們更不願分析。孩子在擁有某件物品時,有較強的安全感。所以家長更應該告訴小朋友次序的概念:現在應該Michael玩這個玩具,才能到你玩,你要學會等待

Social Development Toddlers Share

 

4) Let The Child Decide How Long Their Turn Lasts

If a child is expecting the adult to snatch a toy away once a certain amount of time has passed, it is because you have modelled the action of “grabbing”. What does this mean? Usually kids who are exposed to this at a young age over a significant period of time become more possessive. If your child is free to use a toy for as long as they want, they can give it up with an open heart. If the same child uses the same toy over and over, you can buy a duplicate or reinforce the concept of taking turns.

4)讓小朋友自行決定玩多久

孩子們都知道,當家長給他們玩某個玩具,會在一定時間後拿走。這意味著什麼?孩子們通常在年齡小的時候擁有更強的佔有感,而如果你能讓他們自行決定某個玩具玩多久,他們在放下的時候也會輕鬆的多。如果某個小朋友一直玩某個玩具,你可以買一個同樣的,並教小朋友如何輪流使用。

Social Development Toddlers Turns

 

5) Help Your Child Wait

Does your child have a meltdown when waiting for their turn? Chances are there are some big feelings to let out, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so! Now is the perfect time to emphasise, as adults often feel this frustration in many different forms too. Say “I know you don’t want to wait, I don’t want to wait too, but let’s wait together and I promise it will be your turn before you even know it”. Perhaps you can even play some basic hand games (stone, paper, scissors) to show them that waiting isn’t so bad after all.

5)幫助小朋友學會等待

有時候覺得小朋友沒辦法等待?這可是教會他們等待的好實際!家長可以說,我知道你不想等,我也不想等,那就讓我們一起等吧,相信很快就輪到我們啦!或許你還可以藉此機會和小朋友玩一些基本的手部遊戲,讓他們知道,也許等待也並不糟糕。

Social Development Toddlers Help Wait

 

6) Stop Compulsive Grabbing

Sometimes when kids grab other kids’ toys, it is because they are playing a game with each other. So if you see some grabbing going on, just take a step back and observe before reacting. If one of the other kids ends up being unhappy, then it’s the perfect time to intervene. Put your hand on the disputed toy and ask if they want to use it, if not, let them know that someone else is still using it and that you will get a turn once they are finished. You can suggest something else to do in the meantime, and if a meltdown occurs, comfort your child through it.

6)停止隨意拿東西

有時當小朋友拿別人的玩具,是因為他們在和別人玩遊戲。所以當你看到他們搶東西,先後退一步,在有所反應前先觀察一會。如果另一個小朋友真的不開心了,這時你再上前幫手。把你的手放在玩具上,告訴小朋友,如果你想玩,記得不要在別人使用的時候搶,而要等別人用完。

Social Development Toddlers Stop Grabbing

 

7) Teach Assertiveness

If kids often take things away from your child against their wishes, you can reinforce their will to do something about it. If you see it happen, go up to your child and ask if they were finished with the toy. If not, make sure they go up to the child who took it away and say that they were still using it. You can practice this at home before a real-life situation occurs!

7)教會他們獨立決定

如果其他小朋友會搶你孩子的東西,你可以試著讓他們自己做些什麼。當你親眼所見,就走上去問是否用完這個玩具。如果孩子還沒用完,就試著讓他自己告訴別人,我還在使用中,你可以在家訓練後,讓他們真正在社交中習得。

Social Development Toddlers Assertiveness

 

8) Make Your Child Understand How Sharing Is Good For Others

Research shows that when parents praise sharing, kids end up doing it more. But there’s a catch, it only happens when we are watching! Therefore, instead of praising the act of sharing “just because” it’s good, praise the act of sharing from the perspective that it makes other people happy! For example, don’t just say “good job for sharing your toy with Ana”, say “look at how happy Ana is after you shared your toy with her”.

8)讓小朋友暸解分享的好處

研究顯示當家長讚揚小朋友分享,他們也會繼續這樣做。不過也可能導致,小朋友只在家長面前才會分享。家長要告訴小朋友分享的好處,告訴他們這能讓別人感到快樂。

Social Development Toddlers Sharing

 

Follow these simple steps, and watch your child become a social butterfly! Why not take a look at 5 values to teach your child before the age of 5? Are you a movie fan? Check out “Boyhood”, the film follows the story of a boy called Mason, all the way from early childhood to his arrival at college. The movie was released in 2014 and currently holds a 7.9/10 rating on IMDb.

根據文章步驟,幫助孩子取得社交成功!更可關注彼德學院更多精彩資訊!或者可以選擇高分電影《我們都是這樣長大的》!

Boyhood Movie Parenting


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